A note on expectations.

What does it mean to have expectations? Especially in the health and wellness community, we hear the idea of casting aside expectations thrown around a lot. How can you omit such an abstract concept? How can you proceed with most anything in life without setting up a certain expectancy?

One of my favorite rituals I’ve picked up over the last year is that of truly “being.” Being present, and being in the moment. Simply existing without over-thinking too much about it. I learned this practice through meditation, which even after years of practicing yoga, I admittedly only first started habitually committing to earlier this year. While I enjoy meditation in itself as a relaxing and energizing part of my day, the outcome of this present mindset is the reason I keep coming back. Through the challenge associated with living in as crazy of a city as New York, plus the added difficulty of trying to find my place in the world, writing + mediation were largely impactful tools that assisted me in reaching this state.

Like anything else, a certain mindset is a practice, and to master it will continue to take a lot of time. But when it comes to being present, I’ve noticed through my practice that there is really only a short list of obstacles which prevent this from being a natural part of our existence as humans. Imagine how you view change for a moment. Any kind of change – big or small – is typically exciting to some extent, however this excitement can often be joined if not completely clouded by worry, stigmas, and preconceptions. Now imagine how you could view these situations differently if you cast aside those negative feelings. Or more specifically, the ROOT cause of those negative feelings: expectations.

Did you know that of all the animals in the world, human beings are the only species that create their own stress specifically by worrying about the future? No matter how much we plan or how hard we work, often it seems inevitable that something could (and probably will) go not according to plan. And the crazy thing is, even knowing this and often preparing for it, rather than just awaiting the outcome of a situation and dealing with it when it actually happens, we stress about it now, and we stress about it later. Double stress.

Believe me – I definitely don’t have all the answers, but I have grown to believe that a certain level of uncertainty can be powerful, and freeing. In our society, change has been delivered as a scary, typically negative “thing,” but in reality, change can be the most beautiful experience we are privileged to know. Synonymous with “NEW,” experiencing a change means you have the ability to start fresh – whether you’re starting a new job, moving to a new city, entering into a new relationship, or even just taking a new route to work this morning – embrace the changes around you. Every single day is an opportunity for change. Every single day we are privileged with the opportunity to do something new. I’m grateful for New York State of Mindfulness for comforting me just enough to step out of my comfort zone over and over again throughout the past year, but I know my relationship with change will only continue to be tested moving forward.

Just some food for thought, and something I am going to challenge myself to continue to be mindful of through my upcoming transition: Are you enabling your existence with expectations and worry, or are you embracing your opportunity to lean into change, and take advantage of your ability to be free? Welcome to the world, TenikaTime.com – I can’t wait to see what all changes come from this new space.